A wonderful job opportunity for you. Please see the paper cutting.

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey. When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her some chips. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him. Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Again, she smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word. As twilight approached, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave; but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever. When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?" He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? She's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!" Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home. Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and he asked, "Mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?" She replied! "I ate potato chips in the park with God." However, before her son responded, she added, "You know, he's much younger than I expected." Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime! Embrace all equally!Have lunch with God ....... bring chips.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
begins!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Its difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women and then he turns them into Wives.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of
Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he
would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru
hell.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mailed by Raja Bojan

Letter from Sardar Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft:

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice:
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Bhatinda!
So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system?
I find only 're-cycle', but I own a Vespa scooter at my home.

4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the
door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was
unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft
sentence', so when you will provide that?

6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon
which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a
photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the
PC at home only.

9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My
Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife Bebbo to know where I go after my office
hours.

Regards,
Banta

Last one to Mr Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This was mailed to me by my friend Raja Bojan, Coimbatore

A two seater plane has crashed in the graveyard in Punjab. Local Sardars have found 500 bodies so far and are still digging for more.

This letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft Subject:
Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.
2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run ' he ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
7. It is surprizing that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
9. You provided "My Recent Documents". When you will provide "My Past Documents"?
10. You provide "My Network Places". For God shake please do not provide "My Secret Places". I do not want to let my wife know whre I go after my office hours.
Regards, Banta

Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the sardaji told: "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave".
The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji was adament and did not leave. Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji, and the sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.
Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt. what he told to the sardarji. Capt. replied: "nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails.
Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour". "But yaar", he says, "I am rechecking my answers and am not able to tally them with what I wrote."